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Friday, June 8, 2018

Everything Changes

I don't even know how to write this post, so please bear with me...I'm mostly rambling.

This coming Sunday I was supposed to be standing on a beach in Madison, feeling a mixture of anxiety and ambition, and about to start my second half ironman at 70.3 Wisconsin.  The key words there are: supposed to be.

On the morning of March 19th my world forever changed.  Our sweet little Spot unexpectedly crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  I don't really want to talk about that experience (because living it was more than enough), but needless to say...it completely broke me.



Once the immediate shock wore off,  Mr. R&R and I threw ourselves headlong into doing anything and everything necessary to help Walter adjust to being a solo bunny and to live the best life he possibly can. (More on this another time)


Mr. R&R and I spent every minute that we weren't at work with Walter to the exclusion of everything else - including training.  I cried constantly. I barely slept.  I ate like shit and gained weight.  I didn't care.  The only thing that soothed my broken heart (and my anxiety) was spending every spare minute with Walter and Mr. R&R.

After a month away from training, I knew that being ready for 70.3 Wisconsin was going to be very difficult, but I figured that it was still possible.  After two months, the obstacles were insurmountable.   Mr. R&R and I made the decision to DNS (Did Not Start).  It's disappointing as hell, but I would rather spend more time with Walter.  I regret the hell out of the circumstances that led to the decision to pull out of the race.  I do not regret a minute of the time I've devoted to Walter instead of training.

So now what?  I honestly don't know.  I'm still not sleeping well, my eating habits are hit or miss, and I'm still carrying some extra weight,  but I'm slowly starting to swim/bike/run again and I'm eyeing a few shorter events later in the season, but ultimately I still just don't know what's going to happen.

Whatever happens...I'll keep you posted.



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